Praying Together 17th September 2023

Forgiveness. Easy word to say. Harder in practice, but not quite in the way you would expect.

Academic Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

The first slave was forgiven – but refused to forgive in turn, and that gives us a clue into the human condition. It’s not forgiving that is difficult – it’s being forgiven that is the real problem.

If I forgive someone, that’s an end to it, whether they accept their fault or they don’t. I can move on. But being forgiven – that’s difficult. If I don’t accept that I did something wrong, then to accept forgiveness would make it appear that I agree that I did. So you can take your sanctimonious forgiveness and stuff it.

Or, if I do believe I was wrong, do I really trust the person who forgives me – or will they resurrect the issue in the future? In which case am I right in thinking that their forgiveness was insincere and had strings attached?

It gets even more complicated when there are third parties involved, or when the issue is historical. Have I the right to express remorse on behalf on someone else? In turn, can I accept forgiveness from someone who was not party to the fault?

Difficult to understand, all this, and the debate will continue, questions unresolved. In the meanwhile, as a working hypothesis, I shan’t worry about the consequences of my forgiving others, I should just do it anyway. And if someone else feels that I have hurt them and forgives me, I should accept with a good grace.

And when it comes down to it, I will always need forgiveness – as do we all. For all of us have sinned and fallen short. But I know that when I confess it, I can completely trust the One who forgives and redeems me. And He expects me to do the same in turn – not just to say the words, but to mean them.

…forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us…